Don't kick a man when he's down unless you're certain he won't get up.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a tough battle too.

There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.

This is as bad as it can get...but don't bet on it.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Sometimes too much drink is not enough.

The facts, although interesting, are generally irrelevant.

The world gets a little better every day, and worse in the evening.

Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.

The other line always moves faster...until you get in it.

Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

Friends may come and go but enemies accumulate.

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything good.

I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

If you think that there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.

The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

Do unto others.

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

Plagiarism saves time.

Teamwork...means never having to take all the blame yourself.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

We waste time, so you don't have to.

Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

The Romans did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those people who opposed them.

If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exist elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.

If you find something you like, buy a lifetime supply,because they will stop making it.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

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"Life happens when you're busy making other plans"